I like gifts as much as the next person. After twelve years of marriage, my dear wife knows me well, so birthdays and Christmas bring some of my favorite things, namely coffee and gift cards to Best Buy or iTunes. Some of the best gifts are pictures from Emmy that she’s drawn or, if I’m really lucky, a hug from Abrie, when she says, “Oh, dada.”
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| Photo by asenat29; https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/legalcode |
But not everything we receive is considered a gift, like our tax bill or a speeding ticket. And certainly not an illness or injury, right? Who would consider pain and suffering a gift from God?
So when I heard the suggestion that I view having cancer as a gift, my immediate reaction was far from accepting. I’ve been listening to a sermon series from North Point Community Church called “In the Meantime.” The pastor is speaking to those who are in difficult circumstances with no end in sight. There is seemingly no way out and for whatever reason, God has chosen to say “no” to prayers for relief.
The Gift that Keeps on Giving
While I believe that God is ultimately going to heal me, I certainly feel many days as if my circumstances will never change. It’s rather audacious to suggest that I view cancer as gift. Who would ask for it? I think when I’m completely healed, I’ll be glad for the work that God has done in and through me – I already am. But to say, “Thank you, God, for the gift of leukemia,” well, I’m not there yet.
If cancer is a gift, then it’s the gift that keeps on giving. I keep having these flashbacks to Cousin Eddie in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation when Clark receives his bonus to the Jelly of the Month Club: “Clark, it’s the gift that keeps giving the whole year.” Instead of blackberry jelly, leukemia keeps giving me skin rashes, blurry eyes, gastrointestinal problems, weak legs and lungs, a bald head, and a disrupted life.
A Thorn in the Flesh
But despite my hesitance, this is exactly how the Apostle Paul viewed his affliction. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul talks about a “thorn in his flesh” that was given to “keep him from being conceited” (v. 7). He prayed for the Lord to take it away, but God said “No” (v. 8). Instead, the Lord said to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you” (v. 9).
This “thorn” affected Paul’s life significantly. It was painful and, seemingly, permanent. Yet his response wasn’t one of self-pity or sorrow, rather it was to “boast in his weakness” (v. 9-10). In his weakness, the power of God was made perfect. Paul received his thorn as a gift from the Lord, not for Paul’s own benefit, but so that the Lord might be glorified.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Cor 12:9-10)
So while this is still hard for me to grasp, choosing to receive leukemia as a gift should be my response, too. Its purpose isn’t for my glory, but for God’s. I’m not sure that I can easily utter the words, “God, thank you for cancer,” but I am honestly thankful that he has chosen my life to display his good works.
I’ll have another round of chemotherapy next week, and then I’m off to Texas for another biopsy and checkup the week after. No promises, but I’ll try to view each injection and hour spent away from my family as a gift for the Lord’s benefit. I wasn’t born for my own pleasure, comfort, or goals, but rather to love the Lord and to serve Him.
In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus asked that the cup he was given be taken from him. When God said “No,” Jesus’ response was similar to Paul’s, “Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39). All of eternity is thankful for the gift of God’s “no” to Jesus. We should also be thankful for His “no” to us.
I’m showing well over 57 thousand total page views for you=God is receiving glory and you are being a blessing! The whole Bible is full of “hard” teachings. It takes a real “man” to be a committed follower of Christ. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you. I really appreciate that encouragement. I needed it.